The 3
Stages of Getting Over a Broken
Heart
Just as you
didn’t fall in love overnight,
getting over a broken
heart won’t happen overnight
either. Don't we wish it was that
easy!
Getting over a broken heart usually occurs in 3
stages:
Stage #1. First, there
is the hurting stage. During this stage the
pain can feel so bad that you may want to die
rather than experience it. Crying often
accompanies this painful period after a break
up. People often try to drown their sorrows by
drinking, taking drugs, or injuring
themselves.
Some people use this time to “stalk” their ex.
Whether it's making midnight phone calls,
sending millions of texts, or going over to
their home to monitor their behavior, stalking
is a way of keeping tabs on your
ex.
Others lean on friends and family during this
first stage. Good friends and a supportive
family can give you the emotional support you
need in getting over a broken heart.
Talking to other people about how they dealt
with a break up is another excellent way to
cope with the pain. Not only will you get
survival strategies, it will confirm your
belief that other people have gone through the
same thing - and lived to tell the tale.
It's important at this stage to hold and
maintain positive happy thoughts. Having
supportive friends and family and just
remembering that there are pleasant things in
this world will help you live through this
tough stage in your life.
Stage #2. The second
stage in getting over a broken heart usually
involves feelings of “getting even.”
During this time you want to repay your ex for
all of the misery he or she has doled out on
you. Getting even is not a healthy phase of
getting over a broken heart, and you should do
everything you can to minimize the time you
spend in this stage.
During this second stage you may try to make
your ex’s life a living hell. This can include
things like calling them dozens of times a day,
sending them a computer virus, and threatening
them. All of these are bad ideas. Not only can
they get you in trouble within your own social
group and potentially in trouble with the law,
they also delay your own recovery.
Another way people try to get even after a
break up is to enter into a rebound
relationship. Some people try to replace their
ex right away as a way of getting over the ex
and the heartache. These relationships almost
always fail and you end up getting hurt a
second time.
A more productive thing to do with your time is
to finalize the physical end of the
relationship. This includes getting rid of
anything and everything that belonged to your
ex and eliminating all of the things that
remind you of him or her.
As you reach the end of the “getting even”
phase, begin to see the whole event as a
learning experience. Maybe you have learned
that there is a specific type of person that
you want to avoid in the future. Maybe you have
learned some things about yourself that will
make you a better partner in the future. Take
something positive out of this breakup, and
always remember there is someone special out
there just for you! All you have to do is
find them.
Stage 3. Eventually, you
will reach the third and final stage of getting
over a broken heart, which is not giving a
damn. You will start to wonder what you saw in
your ex in the first place. Perhaps you will
always have a special place in your heart for
your ex, but seeing him or her with another
partner won’t be the end of your world. At this
stage, it's possible to move into a friendship
relationship with your ex.
You will also be ready now to finally move into
a new and better relationship yourself. If you
still have strong feelings (even negative ones)
towards your ex, it’s a rebound relationship.
But if you don’t give a damn about him or her,
you can develop strong positive feelings toward
a new man or woman. You are now free to
find someone who can truly appreciate a special
person like you!
For additional information go
to getting over a broken
heart.
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